Your mouth is God's brothel.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
