So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
