So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
