And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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