8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
