tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
