You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
