I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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