Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
