Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
