i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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