I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
