three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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