Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize