she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
