I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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