we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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