im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
