I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
