I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
