Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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