just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize