If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
