Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think i peed on brittanys purse
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He? As in you personified your dick?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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