id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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