Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
