i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
