you guys were way drunker than both of me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize