Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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