sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
