so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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