Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
then he tried to convert me to islam
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
