So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
These tits shall not be calmed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
