ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
