My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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