just come out here and I will go home with you...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
