nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
