Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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