I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
