I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
