let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
