At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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