Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
