Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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