Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
