This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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