4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We had sex on a dog bed..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just puked most of my soul out..
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