Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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