I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
