We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize