Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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