So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
