508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
