Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
