I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
