Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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