my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
