I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You are the jesus of drinking
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
