you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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