I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
