lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
