at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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