Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
