At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she peed on how many people?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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