i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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